Forgiveness is a tricky topic. Most people avoid it, because people view forgiveness as giving in, or as giving up. They see it as letting the other person win, letting them off the hook, and for the most part that person probably doesn’t deserved to be forgive. Or at least that’s how we feel.
I am guilty of feeling all of those things on multiple occasions, and will probably be guilty of feeling them again. It feels good at time to carry around the angry, it makes me feel justified, like if the person that hurt me knows I’m still angry then they are getting what they deserved, right? I mean every action has a reaction, and if you hurt me then my reaction is to hold on to the pain, because hopefully doing so also causes you pain.
The problem is that carrying around anger and hurt means that I have to live through it. I have to feel those emotions and deal with the overflow of that negativity. Here’s the truth: short and simple. Forgiveness is more for us than it is for the person that hurt us. We are only responsible for the feelings we carry around. For some of you that may be hard to hear because you have been hurt and you want someone else to answer for that pain, but the truth is you can let it go if you want.
You can forgive the person that wronged you and feel the freedom of not carrying around the pain. All of the power is yours. Maybe you don’t want to let go because the hurt is comfortable, because you’ve held it for so long letting it go is terrifying.
Maybe you just aren’t ready, and that’s fine. The journey is yours, but I promise you the freedom that comes from letting go and forgiving will be worth it. Time for a good cliché: Forgive and forget. Nearly impossible, but can you imagine how nice it would be to walk around without the weight of all your hurt?
Start with something small, and work your way up to things that seem too big to let go of. It will probably get easier each time you do it. I have a pile of my own I’m working through. I’m having an emotion spring cleaning (even though it’s July) and the space in my head and heart is cleaner all the time.
So if you need to throw out some emotional crap, I have rented a very large dumpster so come on over. There is plenty of room.